I know that many parents go through a rough time when trying to get a small child on a sleep schedule, but let me tell you, there IS a solution. It may not be an easy one, and it may take a little time, but ultimately to gain back your sanity, your own sleep time, and some of that special and much deserved mommy-daddy time you need I will share with you a few things you can do to make the transition from wide-open kiddie to sleeping angel as quickly as possible!
I had tried all of the methods recommended online and to no avail, he was still sleeping in the bed with us. After months of sleepless nights, and feeling like I was on autopilot most days, I finally asked my sons pediatrician what to do since he was now 6 months old and not sleeping through the night. After a few routine questions, her answer was so simple! Put him in his crib, and let him cry. That was it. No detailed routine, no buying special items or any of the fancy stuff some parents do to get their kids to go to bed, just simply let him cry. Why had I not tried this already?
She said that after about 7 days, he would know that the crib meant bed time and sure enough it worked.
The very first night of trying this method tore me to pieces inside, as I am a stay at home mom and am on-call at every cry. I hated sitting in the living room and listening to his cries for help, to be held, to know that I wasn’t too far away. In my mind I was saying “shhhh, baby, Mommy hears you and I’m not gone, I love you please don’t cry baby, just sleep for a few hours, please for Mommy”. After my husband forcing me to leave him alone, within the first hour he went on to sleep, and a sigh of relief washed over me like a wave on the Hawaiian shores.
I was then scared to move! I was afraid that the slightest noise would disturb his slumber and cause me hours of fighting to get him back to bed.
Let me briefly explain- my son is breast-fed, and when he wakes up, there is no giving him a bottle and back to bed, it is an ordeal in itself because he wants to get up, eat, play for a few minutes, cuddle then eat some more before convincing him its bed time again. Then the struggle all over again.
Honestly after the first week passed, nights are becoming more normal and Hubby and I are finally able to get back to some of those pre-baby adult moments we miss so much. We are now able to spend the evenings laughing together, playing games, watching a movie together, among other things.
During the course of our bedtime journey with Bubby, we found that a routine definitely helps.
Our schedule looks like this:
| Time | Activity |
|
5:00 pm 5:30 pm 6:00 pm 6:30 pm 7:00 pm 7:30 pm |
Playtime and PBS Prepare for dinner (he usually watches me make his food and we ‘talk’) Start dinner. (this is usually a jar of meat and a fruit- he gets a veggie for lunch) Still eating, but close to finishing up Bathtime (he gets to play til the water starts to get cool) Bedtime (this is his bedtime because he gets really cranky and hard to put to bed if I wait any later) |
Having a routine has helped by giving my son an idea of what to expect as the evening progresses. Of course he does not yet fully understand but by being patient, and consistent, we can hope that by Christmas of this year he might actually be going to sleep with 99% no issues and sleeping through the night! Wouldn’t that be fantastic. If you are looking for a bedtime remedy that will actually work, this is it.
I have actually come across some moms that say they would never do this to their child, but there is nothing cruel about it, and they have to learn to go to sleep on their own. That cannot be done with us as moms standing beside the crib picking them up at each cry. Sometimes it might take an hour, but DO NOT go into the room unless you feel something is really wrong. Luckily we have one of those video monitors, so I am able to see him with out being seen! Once you have silence for about 5-10 minutes, peek in on your little one then, and hopefully they will be in dreamland and you can get some rest yourself.
For those moms (and dads) out there that are at your wits-end and feel like you don’t have any options, try this before giving up. I will use this method if and when we have more children because it just works! I literally owe our sleepful nights to our sons amazing pediatrician!
Some helpful links and references from others on getting your child to sleep:
How to Get Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night
3 Ways to Get Baby to Sleep in the Crib
Teach Your Baby to Sleep (In Just 7 Days)
Why Your Baby Hates His Crib (and What To Do About it)
Quick Tips: Getting Baby to Sleep – Get started
Well, looks like I am the odd one out here. I think this is cruel treatment of an infant. Babies are meant to be with their parents, while being soothed and comforted by their parents. It is not the biological norm for 6-month old babies to be sleeping through the night. That is a cultural idea that is being pushed in favor of the biological, natural way. This makes me so incredibly sad to read.
I can understand why you feel that way. I, personally, could not stand it in the beginning, and I hate hearing my child cry for me and not running right to him. But before getting him on at least a partial schedule, he was cranky from not sleeping enough, and his appetite was all over the place. After getting him to the point of going to sleep on his own, his mood and everything improved, even his napping during the day is getting better (longer spurts, instead of 5 and 10 minute naps). He is EBF so I am on-call for feedings at all hours, but at night he will sleep from around 7 PM until around 3 AM then I move him to our bed so I can nurse, and he can be close to me and his Daddy. This article wasn’t meant to strike a nerve in anyone, but I do know that everyone has their own style of parenting, and as long as baby is happy, healthy, and being cared for that’s what matters.
I was wondering when someone would finally disagree with this technique, though. I actually did a lot of research on what others do and how to handle the sleep irregularity. It really is personal opinion from what I have read. Thank you for sharing your opinion on this topic, it is nice to know what others think and feel about these kinds of things.
Routines are important with kids and as a stay at home mom, my child did have one. But she slept in bed with us till she was in elementary school and for us that worked well. She was also a deep sleeper and once she was asleep she was OUT…you could turn on the light, open and close dresser drawers, and she wouldn’t move. I think parenting is an individual choice and what works for one parent doesn’t work for another…we just all do our best!
You are so right about that!
You do the best you can, with what you have and try to give your kids everything. Currently, he sleeps most of the night in his crib, and around 3-5 AM he is up and in bed with us. But from 7 PM until then, it is a wonderful break from the day, and a way for me and the hubby to spend some time together. I love him being close to me though honestly, and I would let him sleep with us until he is ready to sleep in his room, but hubby says no because we need US time. I really do think it is up to the parent though.
I may need to use this schedule once Gwen is old enough to start “sleep training”. My others are in bed by 8:30-9 every night but I know this mama wont be getting much sleep with a newborn soon.
I agree. Being a parent, there is so much lost sleep
This is so true I still don’t get any sleep and my youngest is going to be 4 in september!!!